If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

[The Rev. Dwight Williams]

Then why they still monkeys on this Earth?

BOOM.

Ain’t no Darwinious Punk got an answer for that, they just try to obfuscerate with them nonsense words about “fossil records” and pseudodinous “science” to claim we all supposedly evolverized from the same primordinial gloop.

My grandson Dwight III, he show me vidyas of a man called Richard Dawkinson screaming about evolutions and acting all smug tea and crumpets-like. I ain’t fooled by no homosexualized English accent, we speak good old AMERICAN in this country.

[Brother Gonzalez]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

Reverend, you have hit the nail. Why don't we see monkeys evolving into humans any more?I mean, the day I see a monkey picking a Bible and understanding the word of God, that day I will believe in evolution.

[Dana723]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

...Richard Dawkinson screaming about evolutions and acting all smug tea and crumpets-like. I ain’t fooled by no homosexualized English accent, we speak good old AMERICAN in this country.

Wasn't he the emcee on that Family Feud show who liked to kiss all the women?

[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

We can take it even further than that, Brother. Evolutionists say all life ultimately evolved from the primordial soup. But if everything evolved from soup, why is there still soup? If evolution is true, the ancestral species must perish. Take an example from outside the field of evolutionism. Americans are descended from British people. Are there still British people? No! With the Brexit betrayal, they have been absorbed into Angela Merkel's Fourth Reich and are on schedule to have their native population replaced by 2050 or something.

Welcome back to the fold, by the way, Reverend. With your long, unexplained absence, I'll bet many people around here were beginning to worry you had passed on. I don't know how we got onto this topic, but it just so happens I'm a funeral director. Have you given any thought to what would happen to your remains if one day, God forbid, you choke on a watermelon seed and our Heavenly Father calls you home? Have you thought about the stress for your family of planning a funeral? Hit me up and I'll hook you up with a great deal on a pre-arranged funeral package, fully refundable if Jesus returns and begins His millennial reign before you die. You have nothing to lose!

[Isabella White]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

Then why they still monkeys on this Earth?

BOOM.

Ain’t no Darwinious Punk got an answer for that, they just try to obfuscerate with them nonsense words about “fossil records” and pseudodinous “science” to claim we all supposedly evolverized from the same primordinial gloop.

My grandson Dwight III, he show me vidyas of a man called Richard Dawkinson screaming about evolutions and acting all smug tea and crumpets-like. I ain’t fooled by no homosexualized English accent, we speak good old AMERICAN in this country.

Thank you for raising this, Brother Williams. You're so right about all of this. None of those false evolutionary stories are taught in the good KJV 1611 Bible, so that just shows how far we were straying from the good Lord. But, thankfully, with our dear Christian President Trump and his administration, those days are over. PRAISE GOD and shame on Satan!

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

Reverend, you have hit the nail. Why don't we see monkeys evolving into humans any more?I mean, the day I see a monkey picking a Bible and understanding the word of God, that day I will believe in evolution.

And if monkeys can turn into humans, then why not your dog or your cat? No, just monkeys with these idiots.

[Isabella White]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

Reverend, you have hit the nail. Why don't we see monkeys evolving into humans any more?I mean, the day I see a monkey picking a Bible and understanding the word of God, that day I will believe in evolution.

Amen, Brother Gonzalez! Sadly, however, some are making mockery of your fine statement. The devil's despicable work will not fool anybody here at Landover Baptist and he remains rebuked -- as always!

[The Rev. Dwight Williams]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

We can take it even further than that, Brother. Evolutionists say all life ultimately evolved from the primordial soup. But if everything evolved from soup, why is there still soup? If evolution is true, the ancestral species must perish. Take an example from outside the field of evolutionism. Americans are descended from British people. Are there still British people? No! With the Brexit betrayal, they have been absorbed into Angela Merkel's Fourth Reich and are on schedule to have their native population replaced by 2050 or something.

Welcome back to the fold, by the way, Reverend. With your long, unexplained absence, I'll bet many people around here were beginning to worry you had passed on. I don't know how we got onto this topic, but it just so happens I'm a funeral director. Have you given any thought to what would happen to your remains if one day, God forbid, you choke on a watermelon seed and our Heavenly Father calls you home? Have you thought about the stress for your family of planning a funeral? Hit me up and I'll hook you up with a great deal on a pre-arranged funeral package, fully refundable if Jesus returns and begins His millennial reign before you die. You have nothing to lose!

A grandilomentitudinous point, Brother Swallows!


If humans and animals and lizards evolved from a promordialized soup, then why that Jew Jerry Seinfeld was buying crab bisque and mulligatawny from the Soup Nazi?


Would that not qualificate as cannibalacious behaviors? After all, how do we know that soup won't evolverize into an intelligent lifeform?


Thank you for your generositations regarding funereal plans, Brother. I would like my coffin to be gold-filigreed platinum with Italian marble, and my mausoleum to be a miniature version of the mausoleum in Rome, where Russell Crowe fought the evil Emperor.


Is that something you could manage?

[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

Thank you for your generositations regarding funereal plans, Brother. I would like my coffin to be gold-filigreed platinum with Italian marble, and my mausoleum to be a miniature version of the mausoleum in Rome, where Russell Crowe fought the evil Emperor.

Is that something you could manage?

Absolutely! Nothing but the best for our clients. It'll cost you, though. Better urge your congregation to increase their tithes.

[Scoutman03]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

There could be still be monkeys because we share a common ancestor? It is also possible that some monkeys were smarter, the smarter monkeys bred thus passing the intelligence on, leaving the others behind. Just a thought though, gotta consider all options.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

It is also possible that some monkeys were smarter, the smarter monkeys bred thus passing the intelligence on....

Looking around the drooling inhabitants of my local neighborhood, it seems for the most part that only the dumbest humans have bred, and mostly inbred at that. If we were "evolved" from monkeys (which we aren't), that puts paid to your theory.

[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

There could be still be monkeys because we share a common ancestor? It is also possible that some monkeys were smarter, the smarter monkeys bred thus passing the intelligence on, leaving the others behind. Just a thought though, gotta consider all options.

Perhaps if you could tell us where the smart monkeys left the less intelligent ones, you could prove evolutionism once and for all. In the meantime, we don't "gotta consider all options." Or your random thoughts. We've got the Bible and it tells us there is only one option: God created everything to reproduce after its own kind. Monkey kind after monkey kind and human kind after human kind.

Genesis 1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
Genesis 1:12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good...
Genesis 1:20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
Genesis 1:21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
Genesis 1:22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth...
Genesis 1:24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind , cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
Genesis 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

And God saw that it was good. Amen? (Sorry, I should probably leave that kind of thing for the good Reverend.) Evolution can't improve on God's perfect creation. But I do believe in devolution. After the fall of man, God deliberately ruined His perfect creation as punishment. Things have descended to a lesser state since then. That'll teach them not to eat a piece of fruit.

Genesis 3:14 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
Genesis 3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Genesis 3:17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
Genesis 3:18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
Genesis 3:19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

[The Rev. Dwight Williams]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

Absolutely! Nothing but the best for our clients. It'll cost you, though. Better urge your congregation to increase their tithes.

This a worthy cause! Maybe I should think bigger. Why settle for a replication of the mauseoleum where Russell Crowe fought them tigers, or a copy of the Taja Mall, when I could have a stadium-size megacathedral, The Pastor Dwight Williams Platinum Sanctuary and Entertainment Complex?!

[The Rev. Dwight Williams]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

There could be still be monkeys because we share a common ancestor? It is also possible that some monkeys were smarter, the smarter monkeys bred thus passing the intelligence on, leaving the others behind. Just a thought though, gotta consider all options.

That’s a ridiculous nonsense, son. We all know that reproducturous behavior, aka sex, is prediculated only by looks.

No one cares about how smart is a woman, she gon’ keep her mouth shut anyway and make herself scarce when it time for man talk about importacious matters.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: If humans “evolved” from monkeys...

There could be still be monkeys because we share a common ancestor? It is also possible that some monkeys were smarter, the smarter monkeys bred thus passing the intelligence on, leaving the others behind. Just a thought though, gotta consider all options.

One option worth a mention is that some monkeys were smarter, the smarter monkeys bred thus passing the intelligence on, leaving the others behind TO BE EATEN. Therefore you need to address (in your model) why are there still monkeys?